What to Do If You’ve Been Targeted by a Romance Scam

You thought you had finally met someone special who made you feel important. The late-night chats felt real, and the sweet words sounded genuine.

You started believing this could be love.

But one day, everything changed. The person you trusted wasn’t real. You had just become a victim of a romance scam.

You’re not alone. Every year, thousands of people around the world fall for these scams.

In 2025, the USA Federal Trade Commission reported that American victims lost over $1.3 billion to romance scams.

In this guide, we’ll show you exactly what to do if you’ve fallen victim to a romance scam, how to spot them, report them, and how to recover from a scam.

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A romance scam, also known as an online scam, is a type of fraud where someone tricks you into thinking they are interested in you. They do this to take your money or personal information. Scammers usually connect through dating apps, social media, or even email. They create fake profiles that look real and trustworthy to lure you in.

Falling for a romance scam does not mean you are weak or not smart. Scammers know how to play with human emotions. They can trick even the smartest and most careful people.

So why do these scams work so well?

The scam comes from a mix of emotional vulnerability, psychological manipulation, and personal factors.

01 # Psychological Manipulation

Scammers target your basic need for love, companionship, and validation. They often reach out when you feel lonely, isolated, or have gone through emotional hardship.

One common trick is love bombing. They give you a lot of attention and affection very quickly, which makes you feel close to them.

They also create a story of destiny, making the relationship feel perfect and meant to be. Scammers add urgency and fear, too. They might say a family emergency or a money problem happened. This pressure makes you act quickly.

The intense feelings can even trigger your brain to release dopamine and oxytocin. This strengthens your attachment and makes it harder to think clearly.

02 # Personal and Situational Factors

Some personal traits can make you more at risk:

• Loneliness and emotional need - You respond more to attention and affection when you feel alone.
• Trust and kindness - You want to believe the best in people. Scammers take advantage of this.
• Low self-esteem and romantic ideals - You may crave attention or believe in a “fairytale” romance.
• Sensation-seeking - Studies show that many victims enjoy thrilling experiences. The excitement of an intense online romance can attract them.
• Midlife vulnerability - Middle-aged people often look for companionship after life changes. They may also have financial resources. Scammers know this and target them.

03 # Why “Smart” People Fall for Scams

Intelligence does not stop a scam. Romance scams work because they tap into how your brain forms attachments. This can override your critical thinking. You may also feel shame or embarrassment. This makes you less likely to report the scam, which scammers can use to their advantage.

Now the question is, how to know if you are being scammed on an online dating site?

If you know the red flags, you can protect yourself from scams. Here’s what to watch for:

1. Ask You for Money - If someone asks you for money before you meet, that’s a big warning sign. Scammers start with small amounts, then ask for more. Some even send you money first to gain your trust.
2. Love Bomb You - Scammers try to make you fall in love quickly. They might say “I love you” after a few conversations. They may promise marriage to you with compliments, attention, or even gifts.
3. Avoid Face-to-Face Meetings - Scammers usually refuse to meet you in person. They make excuses like being sick, having an accident, or traveling for work. Some avoid video calls. Some even use AI or deepfake videos to trick you.
4. Ask You to Move to Another Platform - Scammers want to chat outside dating apps or social media. They may ask you to use WhatsApp, email, or text. This helps them to ask for your personal info or money.
5. Tell Lies or Stories - Scammers make up urgent or emotional stories. They might say they had an accident, missed a flight, or had a medical emergency. These stories make you feel sorry for them and want to help.
6. Profiles Look Fake or Minimal - Scammers often have very few friends, photos, or posts online. Their profile pictures may look too perfect. Sometimes, their profile information doesn’t match the stories they tell you.
7. Language or Accent Doesn’t Match - Some scammers say they speak English fluently, but you notice spelling mistakes, grammar problems, or a strange accent, which can be an early warning sign.
8. Claim to Live or Work Abroad - Some scammers say they live in your country but travel for work. They may claim they are military personnel, doctors, or work on oil rigs. These stories explain why they can’t meet you in person.
9. Try to Manipulate Your Emotions - Scammers use guilt, pressure, or sad stories to control you. They make you feel responsible for their problems or safety. This tactic tricks you into sending money or personal information.
10. Pressure You for Personal Info - Be careful if someone pushes you to share passwords, banking info, or private photos. Some scammers ask for money using your accounts or want access to your finances.
11. Seems Too Perfect - They may look rich, charming, or very attractive. But if it feels “too good to be true,” it probably is. Always check and verify before you trust someone online.
12. Disappear When You Question Them - If you ask too many questions or want proof, they may get angry and avoid answering. Real people don’t disappear when you ask simple questions - scammers do.

If you respond the right way, you can stop further damage and help authorities track the scammer.

01 # Take Care of Your Emotional Health

Romance scams affect more than your money.

They can leave you feeling angry, sad, or ashamed. Talk to friends or family about your experience. You can also see a counselor or join support groups for scam victims.

02 # Stop Communication With Scammer

The moment you realize you are being scammed, stop talking to the scammer.

Replying gives them another chance to manipulate you. Block them on social media, messaging apps, email, and phone.

03 # Protect Your Digital Accounts

If you have already sent money, contact your bank or payment service immediately. Tell them you were scammed.

Some banks can reverse transactions or freeze your accounts to stop further loss.

Also:

• Change all your passwords on email, social media, and banking apps
• Turn on two-factor authentication (MFA) to add extra security
• Check your credit report for any unusual activity
• Add a fraud alert or credit freeze
• If you shared personal info like your ID, passport, or Social Security number, alert authorities.

04 # Keep All Evidence

If you want to report the scam or recover your money, save all documents

• Chat messages and emails
• Screenshots of social media conversations
• Receipts or payment records
• Metadata from images or files, which can show the scammer’s device or location

Do not delete anything.

05 # Report the Scam

Contact your local police, cybercrime unit, or financial regulator. If the scammer is abroad, report to international agencies:

• FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) - for U.S. victims
• Action Fraud - for U.K. victims
• Canadian Anti-Fraud Center - for Canada
• Europol Cybercrime Center - for Europe

Give them all the evidence you collected and explain exactly how the scammer contacted you, what they asked for, and how much money you lost. Reporting makes it easier to catch scammers.

06 # Get Help from The Cybersecurity Expert

If the scam caused a big financial loss or involved identity theft, hire digital forensic experts.

They can:

• Trace IP addresses to locate scammers
• Analyze metadata and communication patterns to prove fraud
• Track financial transactions to find where your money went

Teams like TechForing help you investigate scams, document evidence, and provide information that supports legal action for recovery.

Romance scams are getting smarter every day. The good news is that you can protect yourself if you stay alert.

Here are 12 tips to help you stay one step ahead of romance scammers.

1. Stay on the Dating App - Don’t move the conversation to another chat app too soon. Stick to well-known, trusted sites until you can verify the person’s identity.
2. Look Them Up Online - Search their name and details online. Check their social media accounts, public profiles, or any other information you can find.
3. Do an Image Search - Use Google to do a reverse image search. If the same photo appears somewhere else, you’re probably dealing with a scammer.
4. Watch for Messages - Scammers often send the same messages to many people. If a message feels overly complimentary or generic, copy a few lines into Google. If it shows up on a scam site, it’s a red flag.
5. Spot Inconsistencies - Ask detailed questions and pay attention to their answers. If their stories change or they give vague answers, that’s a sign something isn’t right.
6. Don’t Rush - Scammers try to move relationships along very fast to gain your trust. Take your time. A real relationship develops slowly, so don’t feel pressured.
7. Get a Second Opinion - Talk to a friend or family member about the person. Another pair of eyes can spot warning signs you might miss.
8. Don’t Assume They’re Safe - Scammers create fake profiles to trick you. Always question what they tell you, no matter how convincing it seems.
9. Ask to Meet in Person - If they constantly make excuses to avoid meeting, it’s a strong sign of a scam. Genuine people don’t hide from in-person meetings.
10. Set Up a Video Call - If they avoid video calls, be cautious. Even if they agree, stay alert for deepfakes or hacked webcams. Keep your devices secure so scammers can’t spy on you.
11. Never Send Money - No matter how sad or urgent their story sounds, never send money or share sensitive details.
12. Avoid Suspicious Links - Scammers often send links or files that contain malware or phishing scams. Don’t click on links or download anything from someone you haven’t met.

Relevant Blog - What To Do if Your Phone Has Been Hacked

Romance scammers know exactly what to say to make you feel special, trusted, and emotionally connected.

Most of the time, they follow a script using words that build quick intimacy.

Common phrases include:

• “We’re so alike”
• “I’ve never felt this way before”
• “Trust me”
• “I can’t video call”
• “I’ll visit as soon as I get time off”
• “I’ll pay you back”
• “My bank account’s frozen”
• “I can’t wait to be with you, but…”
• “I need help with something”
• “I don’t know who else to ask”

Romance scams always begin with a fake identity. Scammers create good-looking profiles using stolen photos and false details to make you believe they’re real.

They might pretend to be soldiers, doctors, engineers, or businesspeople working abroad.

The scam usually starts when you meet them online through a dating app, Facebook, Instagram, or a random friend request.

They send a sweet message, a compliment, or a simple “hi” to get your attention.

They chat every day, make you feel special, and say all the right things to gain your trust. You start to believe you’ve found a genuine connection.

After building emotional trust, the scam slowly shifts. They tell you about a problem - maybe they’re stuck overseas, had a sudden accident, or lost access to their money.

Then comes the request: “Can you help me just this once?” They promise to pay you back as soon as possible, but that never happens.

Some scammers don’t ask for money. Instead, they try to collect personal details, photos, or videos that they can later use for identity theft or blackmail.

Once they have what they want, they either disappear or start demanding money.

Relevant Blog - What to Do If You’re a Victim of Online Blackmail

Romance scams come in many forms. But they all aim to steal your money, personal information, or sensitive images.

Here are the 12 common types that can help you spot a scam.

01 # Sugar Daddy / Sugar Mommy Scams

Scammers pretend to be wealthy men or women looking for companionship. They promise gifts, money, or financial help in exchange for your attention. Sometimes, older victims are targeted as “sugar babies,” asked to send money or share personal information.

02 # Catfishing Scams

Catfishing happens when someone creates a fake profile using stolen photos, or even AI-generated images. They promise love or friendship to manipulate your emotions.

03 # Inheritance Scams

The scammer claims they are about to inherit a large sum of money and need your help to cover fees or legal costs. They may promise marriage or shared wealth to convince you, but the real goal is to get your money or sensitive details.

04 # Military Scams

Scammers pose as deployed service members, often working overseas. They use military jargon to appear real and ask for money to cover travel, leave papers, or emergencies.

05 # Sextortion and Image-Based Scams

Some scammers pressure you to share intimate photos. Later, they threaten to release the images unless you pay. Even non-intimate images can be stolen to create fake profiles or commit fraud.

06 # Tech Support Romance Scams

These scammers start as fake tech support agents to gain your trust. Once you engage with them, they shift the conversation toward romance and exploit you emotionally or financially.

07 # Oil Rig Scams

Scammers claim they work on an oil rig far away, so they can’t meet often. They use loneliness and distance to manipulate you and ask for money or personal details.

08 # Social Media and Messaging App Scams

Scammers contact you on Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, or other platforms. They slowly build trust and then pressure you to send money or personal information.

09 # Fake Dating Sites

Some websites are scams themselves. Fake or “spoofed” dating sites trick users into sharing personal details, downloading malware, or sending money.

10 # Crypto Romance Scams

Scammers convince victims to buy cryptocurrency or send crypto to their digital wallets. They often present it as a shared investment opportunity, but their real goal is to steal your money.

Relevant Blog - What To Do If Your Crypto Wallet Is Hacked

11 # Celebrity Romance Scams

Scammers pretend to be famous people to lure victims. They make the relationship seem exciting and exclusive to manipulate you.

12 # Pig Butchering Romance Scams

In this long-term scam, scammers “fatten you up” emotionally over weeks or months. They build trust and emotional connection before asking for a large sum of money. 

Here are some statistics about online dating scams:

• In 2023, romance scam victims in the U.S. lost $1.14 billion, the highest for any type of imposter scam.
• Romance scams and other confidence schemes caused around $3.8 billion in losses globally in 2023.
• A global Interpol operation in 2024 arrested 260 scammers in 14 African countries, which affected over 1,400 victims with total losses of $2.8 million.
• The Federal Trade Commission received 64,003 romance scam reports in 2023, with a median loss of $2,000 per victim.
• In 2024, 58,734 Americans fell victim to romance scams, reporting losses of $638.6 million. This was slightly lower than $702.7 million lost in 2023.
• Residents reported $39.2 million in losses to romance scams in 2024.
• Over the past five years, UK victims lost a total of £400 million to romance scams.
• Each UK victim lost about £10,000, up from under £5,800 in 2023.
• In 2021, Action Fraud received 8,678 reports, a 29% increase from the previous year, due to more people spending time online.
• In 2024, crypto fraud was valued at $12.4 billion, with pig butchering scams responsible for 33.2% of losses.
• In 2024, 7,626 victims over 60 lost about $389 million to romance scams.
• Operation First Light 2024 involved 61 countries, leading to 3,950 arrests and the seizure of $257 million in scam-related assets.

Relevant Blog -  What To Do If Someone Is Blackmailing You with Nudes

Romance scammers try to control the conversation and hide real details about their lives. You can find out if someone is real by asking simple and personal questions that any genuine person can answer easily. Scammers often get nervous, give short answers, or try to change the topic.

Ask questions like where you grew up, what food you love most, what your family is like, and which school you went to. You can also ask about your favorite childhood memory, what your normal day looks like, or if you’re okay having a quick video call. Try asking for your social media handles or stories about past relationships.

If the person avoids these questions or struggles to answer naturally, it’s a clear sign that you might be talking to a scammer.

Here is the list of fake dating sites:

• Twoo
• FlirtCatalog
• DateMe1st
• FindDates
• DoULike
• Free & Single
• Cupid.com
• BeautifulPeople.com
• Badoo
• Tantan
• Tinder
• OkCupid
• Plenty of Fish (POF)
• Match.com
• Zoosk
• Hinge
• Grindr
• Her
• MeetMe
• Tagged
• Skout
• MocoSpace
• Hi5
• AsianDating
• LatinAmericanCupid
• RussianCupid
• InternationalCupid
• ChristianCupid
• MuslimCupid

What is catfishing?

Catfishing happens when someone pretends to be another person online using fake photos, names, or personal details to trick others. Scammers usually make fake profiles on social media or dating sites to gain someone’s trust.

Are romance scams illegal?

Yes, romance scams are illegal. Scammers break the law by committing fraud, stealing money, and sometimes stealing identities.

Where do most romance scams come from?

Most romance scams come from Nigeria, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Eastern European countries.

Can I file a police report for a romance scam?

Yes, you can file a police report. You should contact your local police and give them all the proof you have, like messages, emails, and transaction records.

Can I recover money lost in a romance scam?

You might be able to get your money back, depending on how the scam happened.

How long does it take to resolve a romance scam case?

The time can vary. Some cases finish in 2-3 days or a week, and more complicated scams can take longer to solve.

TechForing is a global cybersecurity company that was founded in 2015. We specialize in digital forensics, scam, and fraud investigation management.

We have helped clients in over 121 countries, including individuals, businesses, and government agencies.

If you fall victim to a romance scam, we can help you:

• Investigate the fraud to find out the scammer
• Trace stolen funds
• Make reports for police investigations and legal action

We have served over 14,000 individual clients and more than 3,400 companies, so we know how to assist you after the scam.

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